Tipping in Miami: When to Tip, When to Skip

Tipping in Miami has gotten out of control, and I say that as somebody who has worked in hospitality and tipped a lot of people in this city. Miami is a city of hospitality. Everything we do has some kind of customer service involved, whether you’re going out to a nightclub, a bar or your favorite restaurant in Brickell. So the real question is, when are you supposed to tip, and does it include every single thing that touches hospitality? Because right now every screen in Miami flips around and asks you for 25 percent before you even got your coffee.

01The Undeniable Tip

The most important thing in tipping culture is service. It’s got to be impeccable. The more effort somebody puts into the service, the more likely they are to get tipped. Now, of course there are some customers out there that are jerks. But there’s also people in hospitality that are jerks. So if two jerks are talking to each other and there’s money involved, who’s the bigger jerk? The one that doesn’t leave a tip, or the one that was acting like a jerk and still expecting one?

What I’ve learned from both sides of the counter is that the tip has to feel undeniable. Something as simple as asking questions goes a long way. Can I get anything else for you? How’s what you ordered? Are you enjoying it? How’s your day going? Throw in a little bit of therapy and now that tip is happening. In Miami, half the people at the bar just want somebody to ask how their day is going. Give them that and you’re getting 20 percent minimum.

I saw something online that said if you’re both standing during the transaction, a tip shouldn’t be expected. I beg to differ. If you’re standing as a service provider, you’ve probably been standing for a very long time. What would that person prefer? That you’re sitting in the back like, “All right, just give me a minute, I’ll be right there”? Come on.

02When Tipping in Miami Doesn’t Make Sense

It goes the other way around too. If something you do as a service provider doesn’t feel like it deserves a tip, it probably doesn’t. For example, if the transaction ends with you yelling “Next!”, that is not a tippable situation. Nobody walks away from that thinking, “Oh boy, this person got rid of me as soon as possible, I better leave him a good tip.”

Same thing if you go into a place and the food is already pre-made. Something that’s been sitting under a heat lamp, something that went through a microwave or a toaster for 30 seconds. That doesn’t feel tippable, especially if they hand it to you on a napkin. If the napkin is the plate, that’s not a tippable situation. I’m sorry. I love a pastelito from the ventanita as much as anybody in Miami, but the lady handed it to me in wax paper. She didn’t plate it for me. I’ll buy two, that’s my tip.

And then there’s the online order. You’re literally typing your own credit card number into a website to get your food, and it asks you for a tip. For what? I did all the work. I’m the waiter, I’m the cashier, I’m data entry. If anything they should be tipping me. Now, if you put in the card but they don’t charge it until you pick up, and the person handing you the bag is checking that your napkins are in there, your utensils are in there, your sauces are in there, “Can I get you anything else?”, and then they hand you the receipt with the tip line on it, now you’ve got a real shot.

03The Spicy Mayo Rule

This one drives me crazy. You place an order over the phone at a sushi place. You show up to pick it up and you go, “Hey, can I also get some spicy mayo?” And they go, “Oh, that’s extra.” You’re really going to sacrifice your tip for a dollar of spicy mayo? That dollar doesn’t even go to you. The owner gets that dollar. You just lost a five-dollar tip defending a sauce cup.

That’s the worst, when someone is guarding the sauces like they’re gold bars. “You’re limited to one sauce. Each additional sauce is a dollar fifty.” Why would you ruin your chance at an easy tip? Be the hero. “I see you’re here with three people. Here’s three sauces, on me. And by the way, here’s your receipt. Don’t forget to sign. You see that line above there?” That’s how it’s done in Miami. You give a little, you get a little.

04Automatic Tips and the 20 Percent Gratuity

Automatic tips get a little slippery, and Miami restaurants love them. “For your convenience, we added the appropriate tip amount for you.” Wow, these guys are confident. It’s almost like they don’t trust you to tip, which, if you think about it, is automatically bad service. Here’s what it implies. “We already judged your generosity by the way you’re dressed and found it lacking.” Or maybe they don’t trust your math. “I saw you struggling with that menu. I saw you looking all the way over to the price column. I had no choice but to add the tip.”

The fix is simple. If you’re the service provider, tell people right from the start that there’s a 20 percent gratuity on top. What you’re really saying is that your service is that good. As a customer, if you told me that, I’d be like, “Oh really? All right, bet. Let’s see.” Now you have to perform. If tipping feels right, then it is right.

I’ll give you an example of a time I didn’t know I had to tip and I did anyway. I went to rent a car at the airport. Usually they give you the paperwork, you go to the lot, you hand it to somebody, and they point. “Go over there.” But this one guy took my paperwork, walked me over to the cars and started showing them to me like he was on The Price Is Right. “Over here we got a brand new SUV, or you can get the Jeep.” He showed me how to turn on the radio, how to drop the top, he told me how thick the tires were. When he handed me the keys he might as well have said “Ta-da!” I had no choice. I reached into my pocket and tipped that man, just for the show.

05How to Get Tipped in Miami

If you work in hospitality, the attitude has to match the audacity of wanting a tip. You’ve seen it and I’ve seen it, the person serving you who clearly hates their job, like we’re the ones who gave them the position. If you’re in a bad mood, just be honest. “Look, I know I was a jerk today. I’m having a bad day. The tip’s on me.”

Add some theatrics. Even if you’re serving something as simple as a cookie, make it feel special. Wear a white glove. Pull out some golden tongs from your sleeve, grab the cookie, put it on a napkin and do a little “voila.” This is Miami. We’ll pay extra for a show. We pay extra for sparklers on a bottle we didn’t even want.

And think about the people who never ask for tips. A mechanic doesn’t ask for a tip. You know why? Because he already got you. “Your transmission is shot, the AC is out of coolant, your battery’s low. If we don’t hit any snags, it’ll be three nights, maybe five. Don’t forget, there’s a 99 dollar fee for every night it stays in the garage.” Waiters should talk like that. “First we select the perfect steak, then season it with a secret blend, then sear both sides, then the oven. If we don’t hit any snags, 15 minutes, maybe 20.” Now you feel like you got a whole production.

I also think restaurants should do what comedians do. After a show we sell merch, and that’s basically our tip jar, except you leave with something you can wear. Let waiters sell merch. Tip 25 percent or more and you get a T-shirt that says “I Got Good Service at Jim’s Crab Shack.” The restaurant gets promotion, the waiter gets the tip, you get a shirt. Everybody wins. My dad once convinced a waiter at Olive Garden to give him one of those cheese graters for a really good tip. We still have that cheese grater. Somebody made a quick 50 dollars on a two-person meal, and now there’s a cheese grater missing in a kitchen somewhere. Honestly, that’s the best tip story in Miami.