Offended at a Comedy Show in Miami? Sit Further Back

Getting offended at a comedy show in Miami is a choice, and I say that with love. I host comedy shows in this city for a living, and on this old podcast episode I told the story of a young couple who sat right in the front row, got offended by the very first comedian, and let the whole room know. God bless them. They looked like a sweet, respectful couple. They had also just turned 21, and I don’t think anybody warned them what a real comedy show is.

So this one is for anybody who’s thinking about coming out to a show, anybody who’s been dragged to one by a friend, and anybody who’s ever crossed their arms in a comedy club and thought “this is not okay.” Pull up a chair. Maybe not the front row though.

01The Night a Couple Got Offended at a Comedy Show in Miami

Here’s what happened. I’m hosting a show at Sweet Caroline. I go up, I work the crowd, everybody’s having a good time. I bring up the first comedian, and he’s a dirty comic. That’s his style. He’s a big guy and he does fat jokes about himself. That’s his whole thing. He’s roasting himself.

I’m standing in the back of the room and I’m watching this couple in the front. And the girl is like this. Crunched up. Arms tight. Face like she just smelled a dead iguana in the parking lot. You could feel it from the back.

So when I get back on stage I do what any host does. I go, “Did you like that?” And she goes, “No. The jokes are bad.”

Okay. Fair. I go, “What’s wrong with the jokes?”

And she goes, “He’s fat and he keeps saying fat jokes.”

And I’m standing there like, wait. Isn’t it kind of offensive that you just called him fat? In her head she’s right. She’s defending him. But she doesn’t see that she’s doing the exact same thing she’s mad about. He’s allowed to call himself fat. That’s his material. He wrote it. He’s been working on it. You’re the one who walked in and decided he needed saving.

I felt bad, I’m not gonna lie. They came out, they paid, they wanted a good night. But I don’t know what kind of comedy show they were expecting.

02Two Kinds of Comedy and Why It Matters

After that night I realized there’s really two kinds of comedy that you see out there.

There’s the authentic stuff. Real life. Real issues. Somebody gets up there and talks about their family, their body, their ex, their bills, their neighborhood, and they make fun of it. That’s the kind of comedy I love. I like talking about real things. I like riffing with the crowd, roasting a little, poking fun at stuff, and bringing people together because we all just laughed at the same messed up thing.

Then there’s the goofy stuff. We’re not gonna talk about anything real, and it’s gonna be extremely silly. Go up there and pretend you’re an astronaut and the moon is made of cheese. Oh that’s so cute.

Now I’m not saying one is better than the other. There’s an audience for both. But I can’t do cute comedy. I’m not that guy. And most of the comics you’re gonna see on a Miami stage are not that guy either. This city is loud, it’s spicy, it’s got a hundred cultures living on top of each other and roasting each other at every family party. You think the comics are gonna come up here and talk about cheese moons? No, bro. They’re gonna talk about their tía, their landlord, their body, and the guy in the front row wearing sunglasses indoors.

So if you’re coming to a show expecting a Disney movie, I’m telling you right now, that’s on you.

03Chronic Offensiveness Is a Real Condition (According to Me)

There’s a documentary called Can We Take a Joke? and it’s all about people who get offended at comedy shows. The way I see it, and the way that movie lays it out, if you get offended at a comedy show you’re kind of in the wrong. And here’s why.

Nobody’s hurting you. Nobody’s threatening you. Nobody is doing you any harm. A guy is on a stage with a microphone saying words. And everybody else in the room is enjoying it. So the fact that you want to put a stop to something that the whole room is having fun with, that’s a little selfish, no?

I said it on the podcast and I’ll say it again. I think being chronically offended is a condition. You heard it here first on Miami Comedy. If something a comedian says offends you, good. That’s the stuff you gotta work on. That’s a little part of you that’s not fully developed yet, and the joke just found it. Comedy is a gym for your brain. Sometimes it’s sore the next day. That means it’s working.

And look, I’m not saying a comic can never cross a line. Of course they can. Bombing exists. Hacky jokes exist. But there’s a difference between “that joke wasn’t good” and “that joke shouldn’t exist.” The first one is a review. The second one is you trying to run the show from your seat.

04How to Actually Enjoy a Comedy Show in Miami

If you’ve never been to a live comedy show in Miami, or you’re bringing somebody who hasn’t, here’s my quick guide so nobody ends up crunched up in the front row like that poor girl.

Know where you’re sitting. The front row is not a regular seat. The front row is part of the show. If you sit there, the host is gonna talk to you. The comics are gonna talk to you. If you don’t want that, sit in the back by the bar. Nobody will bother you back there except the bartender, and she’s busy.

Read the room before you judge it. If everybody around you is laughing and you’re not, that’s okay. Not every joke is for everybody. But that’s also not the moment to stand up for the whole room, because the whole room didn’t ask you to.

Understand the comic is usually the target. A lot of what sounds edgy is the comedian roasting themselves. The big guy doing fat jokes. The Cuban guy doing Cuban jokes. The single girl doing single jokes. They’re inviting you to laugh at them. Let them.

Don’t heckle. Yelling out “that’s not funny” does not make you the hero of the night. It makes you the story the comic tells at the next show. Trust me, I’ve got a whole collection.

Bring the right friend. If your date only watches cooking shows and cries at commercials, maybe start with a lighter lineup. If your friend roasts you at every birthday party, they’re gonna love it.

Come with an open mind and a drink. That’s it. That’s the whole secret. You’re in Miami. Loosen up a little.

05Why Real Comedy Brings Miami Together

Here’s what I really believe after years of hosting shows in this city. Real comedy is one of the few places left where you can sit next to a total stranger from a completely different background and laugh at the same thing at the same time. A Venezuelan, a Haitian, a Cuban abuela, a New York transplant, and a tourist from Ohio, all losing it at one joke about Miami traffic or rent. You don’t get that a lot anymore.

And the reason it works is because the comics are honest. They talk about the stuff everybody’s thinking but nobody’s saying. If we all start policing every joke for anything that might bother anybody, we lose that. We get the cheese moon. Nobody wants the cheese moon.

So to that couple in the front row, if you’re reading this, I hope you come back. Sit a couple rows further back this time. Laugh at the stuff that gets you, sit through the stuff that doesn’t, and give the comic a chance to take you somewhere. Worst case you walk out with a story. Best case you walk out sore from laughing.

And to everybody else, come check out a show. I’ll be the guy on stage asking the front row if they liked it.