Thoughts on Riding a Bike to Work in Miami Rain

Walking in a populated Miami street and someone stops you to talk about global warming. After a ten minute explanation on the harm we are doing to the environment, you sign the petition. You will start riding a bike to work. On your first day to the job with your shiny new bike, you’re all excited and halfway there, its pouring rain, thats when you know you’ve fucked up. Here is are thoughts on riding bike to work in Miami rain.

01Miami Rain Scenario #1

All the locals in Miami know that its not easy to get around. There are too many cars on the road. Too many tolls to get to the places you need to be. Although the worst kind of standstill: when you are in the area on time, but you can’t turn the block into the office building because the bus lane in downtown has 5 buses at the same bus stop

Hey Randy, Im running an hour late.

Again!? Where are you?

I’m right down the street…

How great of a feeling would it be to BMX over all those car hoods and 360 your way to the parking spot. Riding a bike adds maneuverability in these scenarios, but becomes problematic in other scenarios.

02Miami Rain Scenario #2

Bike riders may have the intention to save the environment. But the Miami environment will have no remorse in turning against bike riders. We are known for spontaneous rain, humidity and heat. You would show up everyday like you swam across the Brickell Bridge to get to work.

All those papers and documents you worked on now with runny ink, and your boss suspects they weren’t of high quality work anyway.

“Jesus Carey, don’t we pay you enough to get yourself a car?”

“I wanna save the environment Randy, back off. Lets start this presentation”

03Happy Hour Scenario #3

Lets say the weather is nice in Miami, consider the happy hour for coworkers. You’ve had your eye on Lindsey from accounting. It’s time for workplace taboo. You all decide to go out for a few drinks. You walk out and all your comrades ride out in SUVs and Beamers, your putting the helmet on and waving.

You get to the place and Lindsey is giving you the looks you’ve been wanting for a while. She asks you where you stay and if you would ride back together. Then she’s standing on your bike spokes with heels on and having doubts, while you explain about the pledge you made to save the environment. Mother nature has officially cock-blocked you.

It just isn’t worth it.

Stay dry Miami. ???????????????? #Miami #Miamicomedy #miamiweather #miamirain #miamienvironment #miamilife #miamitransit #miamibike #miamibikescene

A photo posted by Miami Comedy (@miamicomedy) on Jun 21, 2016 at 8:16am PDT