Miami Comedy Podcast: Why Miami Arts Is Either Gaga or Crackhead

Description:
Miami loves to flex like it’s the cultural capital of the world. But when it comes to performing arts? You either drop half your rent to see a globally touring performance, or you catch an Uber driver pulling out a Kazoo on the ride home. That’s it. That’s the scene. In this week’s episode, I break down why hospitality only markets to tourists and models, why locals get ghosted, and why jazz in Miami is basically just elevator music nobody claps for.

(00:00) Welcome to the Madness

Another week, another rant. Miami performance art culture in 10 seconds. Like a pina colada, sweet at first, but now it’s just sticky and attracts weirdos.

(00:15) Miami Arts: Gaga or Crackhead?

This city’s idea of culture is either a $500 concert ticket or a guy poppin' and lockin' for spare change on your parking spot. Where’s the middle ground?

(01:41) Jazz in Miami = Background Noise

Jazz is supposed to be improvisation, a conversation between instruments. In Miami, it’s background noise while you argue over who hasn't sent their bar tab share via Zelle yet.

(06:56) Pop Culture NPCs Unite

If all your taste comes from TikTok and Top 40, congrats, you’re a background character in your own city.

(12:25) Bottle Sparklers as Performance Art

Hospitality here doesn’t market to locals. It markets to Instagram. The sparkler girl is the Mona Lisa of Miami nightlife.

(20:32) The 80% Nobody Markets To

Here’s the truth: venues fight over the same 20 percent of rich tourists and influencers, while the rest of us are low key having a guys night out at Flanigan’s.

(26:11) The Next Era of Miami

Pickleball and tacos are more representative of Miami culture than half the “exclusive” lounges in Brickell. Mark my words: the regulars are coming.

If you’ve ever clapped at a jazz solo in Miami — or at least pretended to — this episode’s for you. Hit play, laugh, argue, whatever. Just don’t tell me bottle service is a performative art.