Miami is kind of like its own star wars universe.

The same way Luke Skywalker came across an old wise man in the desert, wandered into the local cantina, and met a couple of smugglers… is the same way a sugar baby meets a sugar daddy in the sands of South Beach, who claims to know some crypto bros who can smuggle them into F1 ten minutes before the race starts.

It sounds far-fetched, but I promise you… this has happened. Not in a galaxy far, far away. Probably like last Thursday.

I can feel it in the force. And by “force,” I mean having access to a whatsapp group by a situationship friend that shows me what the dark side is like.

And with Cinco De Mayo around the corner, Miami is entering its most powerful form.

This is the time of year where you can be an absolute disaster, and it's not just accepted, it's culturally encouraged. It's basically a horror makeup costume contest for your liver.

Like, if you see someone getting dragged out of a nightclub on a random Tuesday, you’re like, “that person needs help.”

But if you're getting force-choked out of a club while wearing a sombrero and balancing a margarita the size of a newborn? Suddenly that guy's not drunk… that guy's celebrating heritage. That guy's cultured.

So saddle up on a burrito, strap into a Tesla the size of the Millenium Falcon, and race your way into another week of exclusive Miami Comedy Shows, because these are the dates you're looking for:

Monday at Thank You Miami Comedy Night

TOO LIT Tuesday at Blackbird Ordinary

Friday at Thank You Miami Comedy Night

SO LIT Saturday at Blackbird Ordinary

Become a Jedi of Jaja's by joining the VIP texting group. You get drink perks, merch, and seating preferences to all our shows by joining the group chat. Basically the Jedi council treatment. Text MIAMI to (786) 610-5571 to sign up.

Seeya at a show.